How to work with Friends and Family without Discount

I was a bit shooketh when I got this text. So shook that I called my mentor, my mom, and God -in that order- to see if I was tripping on charging a family member for the services that pay my bills. Then, I called my closest friends and we all began to realize that it is very difficult to work with family or “framily”, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. In typical #lifeonabanjo fashion, I interviewed some grown folks to drop the real knowledge on how to (or not) work with your family and friends. In a nutshell, say it with me until it sinks in: “friends and families get invoice too”.

Write It Down

Something about asking someone to sign a contract brings everyone’s guard up. The second we see a contract, we think “oh this is for real.” The reason we give our clients contracts is to avoid any “he say, she say… where’s the product and my money?” argument in court. When you agree to any form of payment with a family member, make sure it is in some form of recorded writing -a formal contract, text, even a DM would hold up in court. Word of mouth means absolutely nothing to anyone. Trust is cute, but contracts secure the bag and relationship. Not only does the contract hold your folks accountable for payment, it holds you accountable to get the job done. It is a win-win for everyone.

For Free or For Fee

Do. Not. Give. Family. Discounts. I (interviewee) am an Event Planner, and it is extremely tempting to slash my price in half for my girl’s wedding, but it gets messy down the line when another friend in the same friend circle expects me to do the same service. The only problem is she thinks we’re close but I can barely spell her last name. Now, there’s an elephant in the room of your family or friend circle because people think you don’t like “John Doe.” If you are inclined to give your service to a friend or family, do it for free or choose parts of your service that would be a gift to your friend if you cannot afford to give the full service for free. This isn’t T-Mobile and there is no friends and family plan. Always remember that you’re running a business not a family gathering.

Who’s the Boss?

The truth is that you want your client or customers or coworkers to be comfortable around you, but not to the point of undermining your authority. This is your company, your vision, your plan, your risks, your investment, your potential failure, and your rewards. Everyone and their mama is going to have an idea on what you should do with your company, how you should run your company, and everyone wants to be CEO without putting in CEO work. When it comes to the people you love, you have to be open to constructive criticism but know how and when to reject opinions and feedback. In the words of Queen Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter, when it comes to family “Don’t be nice, be fair.”

It’s All Love

In the spirit of transparency, when you’re starting out, most of the people you can afford to hire or have as clients are your family and close friends. However, you don’t want to sacrifice your business for your family and vice versa. I have been extremely fortunate to work with and to work for some of my closest friends and family, but it took a lot of heated mentorship and unpaid labor to know that we can support our family and friends without discounting our value or asking them to discount their value.

Forms of support that help to secure the bag and cost $0: words of encouragement, referrals, advice if you’re the professional. 

PS: Share your family and friends story or advice in the comments.

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